The Barber's Story of His Sixth Brother

My sixth brother (Shakalik), O Prince of the Faithful,
had his lips cut ofif. He was in a state of extreme poverty,
possessing nothing of the goods of this perishable world;
and he went forth one day to seek for something with which
to stay his departing spirit, and on his way he beheld a
handsome house, with a wide and lofty vestibule, at the door
of which were servants, commanding and forbidding; where-
upon he inquired of one of the persons standing there, who
answered, This house belongeth to a man of the sons of the
Barmekis. My brother, therefore, advanced to the door-
keepers, and begged them to give him something; and they
said. Enter the door of the house, and thou wilt obtain what
thou desirest of its master. So he entered the vesti1)ule,
and proceeded through it a while until he arrived at a man-
sion of the utmost beauty and elegance, having a garden in
the midst of it, unsurpassed in beauty by anything that had
ever been seen : its floors were paved with marble, and its
curtains were hanging around. He knew not in which
direction to go; but advanced to the upper extremity; and
there he beheld a man of handsome countenance and beard,
who, on seeing my brother, rose to him, and welcomed him,
inquiring respecting his circumstances. He accordingly in-
formed him that he was in want; and when the master of
the house heard his words, he manifested excessive grief,
and, taking hold of his own clothes, rent them, and ex-
claimed. Am I in the city, and thou in it hungry? It is a
thing that I cannot endure ! — Then promising him every
kind of happiness, he said. Thou must stay and partake of my
salt. But my brother replied, O my master, I have not
patience to wait ; for I am in a state of extreme hunger.

Upon this, the master of the house called out, Boy, bring
the basin and evv^er ! — and he said, O my guest, advance, and
wash thy hand. He then performed the same motions as if
he were washing his hand ; and called to his attendants to
bring the table; whereupon they began to come and go as
though they were preparing it; after which the master of
the house took my brother, and sat down with him at this
imaginary table, and proceeded to move his hands and
lips as if he were eating; saying to my brother, Eat, and be
not ashamed, for thou art hungry, and I know how
thou art suffering from the violence of thy hunger. My
brother, therefore, made the same motions, as if he also
were eating, while his host said to him. Eat, and observe
this bread and its whiteness. To this, my brother at first
made no reply ; but observed in his own mind, Verily this
is a man who lovcth to jest with others: — so he said to him,
O my master, in my life I have never seen bread more
beautifully white than this, or any of sweeter taste: — on
which the host rejoined, This was made by a female slave
of mine whom I purchased for five hundred pieces of gold.
He then called out, Boy, bring to us the sikbaj," the like
of which is not found among the dishes of Kings ! — and,
addressing my brother, he said. Eat, O my guest; for thou
art hungry, vehemently so and in absolute want of food.
So my brother began to twist about his mouth, and to chew,
as in eating. The master of the house now proceeded to
demand different kinds of viands, one after another; and,
though nothing was brought, he continued ordering my
brother to eat. Next he called out, Boy, place before us
the chickens stuffed with pistachio-nuts : — and said to his
guest. Eat that of which thou hast never tasted the like. — O
my master, replied my brother, verily this dish hath not its
equal in sweetness or flavour : — and the host, thereupon,
began to put his hand to my brother's mouth as though he
were feeding him with morsels ; and proceeded to enumerate
to him the various different kinds of viands, and to describe
their several excellencies ; while his hunger so increased
that he longed for a cake of barley-bread. The master of
the house then said to him, Hast thou tasted anything more
delicious than the spices in these dishes ? — No, O my master,
answered my brother. — Eat more then, resumed the host ;
and be not ashamed. — I have eaten enough of the meats,
replied the guest. So the man of the house called to his
attendants to bring the sweets ; and they moved their hands
about in the air as if they were bringing them; whereupon
the host said to my brother, Eat of this dish; for it is
excellent; and of these kataif/' by my life! and take this
one before the sirup runs from it. — May I never be deprived
of thee, O my master ! exclaimed my brother, proceeding
to inquire of him respecting the abundance of musk in the
kataif. — This, answered the host, is my usual custom in
my house: they always put for me, in each of the kataif, a
mithkal'* of musk, and half a mithkal of ambergris. — All
this time my brother was moving his head and mouth, and
rolling about his tongue between his cheeks, as if he were
enjoying the sweets. After this, the master of the house
called out to his attendants. Bring the dried fruits ! — and
again they moved about their hands in the air as though
they were doing what he ordered; when he said to my
brother. Eat of these almonds, and of these walnuts, and of
these raisins ; — and so on ; enumerating the various kinds
of dried fruits; and added again. Eat, and be not ashamed.
— O my master, replied my brother, I have had enough,
and have not power to eat anything more: — but the host
rejoined. If thou desire, O my guest, to eat more, and to
delight thyself with extraordinary dainties, by Allah ! by
Allah ! remain not hungry.

My brother now reflected upon his situation, and upon
the manner in which this man was jesting with him, and said
within himself, By Allah, I will do to him a deed that shall
make him repent before God of these actions ! The man of
the house next said to his attendants, Bring us the wine: —
and, as before, they made the same motions with their hands
in the air as if they were doing what he commanded; after
which he pretended to hand to my brother a cup, saying, Take
this cup, for it will delight thee : — and his guest replied, O
my master, this is of thy bounty: — and he acted with his
hand as though he were drinking it. — Hath it pleased thee?
said the host. — O my master, answered my brother, I have
never seen anything more delicious than this wine. — Drink
then, rejoined the master of the house, and may it be
attended with benefit and health: — and he himself pretended
to drink, and to hand a second cup to my brother, who,
after he had affected to drink it, feigned himself intoxicated,
and, taking his host unawares, raised his hand until the
whiteness of his arm-pit appeared, and struck him such a
slap upon his neck that the chamber rang at the blow; and
this he followed by a second blow; whereupon the man
exclaimed, What is this, thou vilest of the creation? — O my
master, answered my brother, I am thy slave, whom thou
hast graciously admitted into thine abode, and thou hast
fed him with thy provisions, and treated him with old wine,
and he hath become intoxicated, and committed an outrage
upon thee; but thou art of too exalted dignity to be angry
with him for his ignorance.

When the inaster of the house heard these words of my
brother, he uttered a loud laugh, and said to him. Verily for
a long time have I made game of men, and jested with all
persons accustomed to joking and rudeness, but I have not
seen among them any who could endure this trick, nor any
who had sagacity to conform to all my actions, except thee:
now therefore, I pardon thee; and be thou my companion
in reality, and never relinquish me. He then gave orders
to bring a number of the dishes above mentioned, and he
and my brother ate together to satisfaction ; after which they
removed to the drinking-chamber, where female slaves like
so many moons sang all kinds of melodies, and played on
all kinds of nhusical instruments. There they drank until
intoxication overcame them : the master of the house treated
my brother as a familiar friend, became greatly attached to
him, and clad him with a costly dress; and on the following
morning they resumed their feasting and drinking. Thus
they continued to live for a period of twenty years: the man
then died, and the Sultan seized upon his property, and
took possession of it.

My brother, upon this, went forth from the city, a
fugitive; and upon his way, a party of Arabs came upon
him. They made him a captive; and the man who
captured him tortured him with beating, and said to him,
By Allah, purchase thyself of me by wealth, or I will kill
thee: — but my brother, weeping, replied. By Allah, I possess
nothing, O Sheykh of the Arabs ; nor do I know the means
of obtaining any property: I am thy captive; I have fallen
into thy hands, and do with me what thou wilt. And
immediately the tyrannical Bcdawi drew forth from his
girdle a broad-bladcd knife (such as, if pUmgcd into the
neck of a camel, would cut it across from one jugular vein
to the other) and, taking it in his right hand, approached
my poor brother, and cut off with it his lips ; still urging his
demand.

Now this Bedawi had a handsome wife, who, when he
was absent, used to manifest a strong affection for my
brother; though he observed a proper decorum towards her,
fearing God (whose name be exalted!), and it happened
one day, that she had called him, and seated him with her;
but while they were together, lo, her husband came in upon
them ; and when he beheld my brother, he exclaimed. Wo
to thee, thou base wretch ! Dost thou desire now to
corrupt my wife? — Then drawing his knife, he inflicted upon
him another cruel wound; after which he mounted him
upon a camel, and having cast him upon a mountain, left
him there, and went his way. Some travellers, however,
passed by him, and when they discovered him, they gave
him food and drink, and acquainted me with his case, so I
went forth to him, and conveyed him back into the city,
and allotted him a sufficient maintenance.

Now I have come unto thee, O Prince of the Faithful,
continued the barber, and feared to return to my house
without relating to thee these facts ; for to neglect doing so
had been an error. Thus thou hast seen that, although
having six brothers, I am of a more upright character than
they. — But when the Prince of the Faithful had heard my
story, and all that I had related to him respecting my
brothers, he laughed, and said. Thou hast spoken truth,
O Samit (O silent man) ; thou art a person of few words,
and devoid of impertinence ; now, however, depart from
this city, and take up thine abode in another. So he
banished me from Baghdad; and I journeyed through
various countries, and traversed many regions, until I heard
of his death, and of the succession of another Khalifeh;
when returning to my city, I met with this young man, unto
whorn I did the best of deeds, and who, had it not been for
me, had been slain : yet he hath accused me of that which
is not in my character; for all that he hath related of me,
with respect to impertinence, and loquacity, and dulness. and
want of taste, is false, O people, —

The tailor then proceeded thus: — When we heard the
story of the barber, and were convinced of his impertinence
and loquacity, and that the young man had been treated
unjustly by him, we seized hold upon him, and put him in
confinement, and, seating ourselves to keep watch over
him, ate and drank; and the feast was finished in the most
agreeable manner. We remained sitting together until the
call to afternoon-prayers, when I went forth, and returned
to my house; but my wife looked angrily at me, and said,
Thou hast been all the day enjoying thy pleasure while I
have been sitting at Home sorrowful; now if thou go not
forth with me and amuse me for the remainder of the day,
thy refusal will be the cause of my separation from thee.
So I took her and went out with her, and we amused our-
selves until nightfall, when, returning home, we met this
humpback, full of drink, and repeating verses ; upon which
I invited him to come home with us and he consented. I
then went forth to buy some fried fish, and having bought
it and returned, we sat down to eat; and my wife took a
morsel of bread and a piece of fish, and put them into his
mouth, and choked him, so that he died; whereupon I took
him up, and contrived to throw him into the house of this
physician, and he contrived to throw him into the house of
the steward, and the steward contrived to throw him in
the way of the broker. — This is the story of what happened
to me yesterday. Is it not more wonderful than that of the
humpback ?

When the King had heard this story, he ordered certain
of his chamberlains to go with the taildr, and to bring the
b?rber; saying to them, His presence is indispensable, that
I may hear his talk, and it may be the cause of the deliver-
ance of you all : then we will bury this humpback decently
in the earth, for he hath been dead since yesterday : and
we will make him a monument round his grave, since he
hath been the occasion of our acouaintance with these
wonderful stories

The chamberlains and the tailor soon came back, after
having gone to the place of confinement and brought the
barber, whom they placed before the King; and when the
King beheld him, he saw him to be an old man, passed his
ninetieth year, of dark countenance, and white beard and
eyebrows, with small ears, and long nose, and a haughty
aspect. The King laughed at the sight of him and said to
him, O silent man, I desire that thou relate to me somewhat
of thy stories. — O King of the age, replied the barber, what
is the occasion of the presence of this Christian and this
Jew and this Muslim, and this humpback lying dead among
you; and what is the reason of this assembly? — Wherefore
dost thou ask this? said the King. The barber answered,'
I ask it in order that the King may know me to be no
impertinent person, nor one who meddleth with that which
doth not concern him, and that I am free from the loquacity
of which they accuse me: for I am fortunate in my charac-
teristic appellation, since they have surnamed me Es-Samit;
and, as the poet hath said, —

Seldom hast thou seen a person honoured with a surname, but thou
wilt find, if thou search, that his character is expressed by it.

The King therefore said. Explain to the barber the case of
this humpback, and what happened to him yesterday even-
ing, and explain to him also what the Christian hath related,
and the Jew and the steward and the tailor. So they re-
peated to him the stories of all these persons.

The barber, thereupon, shook his head, saying, By Allah,
this is a wonderful thing ! Uncover this humpback that I
may examine him. — And they did so. He then seated him-
self at his head, and, taking it up, placed it upon his lap,
and looked at his face, and laughed so violently that he fell
backwards, exclaiming, For every death there is a cause;
and the death of this humpback is most wonderful: it is
worthy of being registered in the records, that posterity may
be instructed by this event ! — The King, astonished at his
words, said, O Samit, explain to us the reason of thy saying
this. — O King, replied the barber, by thy beneficence, life is
yet in the humpback ! He then drew forth from his bosom
a pot containing some ointment, and with this he anointed
the neck of the humpback ; after which he covered it up
until it perspired; when he took forth an iron forceps, and
put it down his throat, and extracted the piece of fish with
its bone, and all the people saw them. The humpback now
sprang upon his feet, and sneezed, and, recovering his con-
sciousness, drew his hands over his face, and exclaimed,
There is no Deity but God ! Mohammad is God's Apostle !
God bless and save him ! — and all who were present were
astonished at the sight, and the King laughed until he
became insensible ; as did also the other spectators. The
King exclaimed, By Allah, this accident is wonderful ! I
have never witnessed anything more strange ! — and added,
O Muslims ! O assembly of soldiers ! have ye ever in the
course of your lives seen any one die and after that come to
life? But had not God blessed him with this barber, the
humpback had been to-day numbered among the people
of the other world; for the barber hath been the means
of restoring him to life. — They replied, This is indeed a
wonderful thing!

The King then gave orders to record this event ; and
when they had done so, he placed the record in the royal
library; and he bestowed dresses of honour upon the Jew
and the Christian and the steward; upon each of them, a
costly dress ; the tailor he appointed to be his own tailor,
granting him regular allowances, and reconciling him and
the humpback with each other : the humpback he honoured
with a rich and beautiful dress, and with similar allowances,
and appointed him his cup-companion ; and upon the
barber also he conferred the like favours, rewarding him
with a costly dress of honour, regular allowances, and a fixed
salary, and appointing him state-barber, and his owti cup-
companion: so they all lived in the utmost happiness and
comfort until they were visited by the terminator of delights
and the separator of friends.